Half way there ~ the ups and downs of epilepsy and pregnancy!

So we had our 20 week scan yesterday and baby is doing really well.  It was actually done by a consultant who while extremely quick seemed very competent so whilst we didn’t get much of a chance to really see baby, I feel like the baby has been checked by the best person possible.

 

The other good thing about this is that it now means we don’t need to see any medical professionals for a while which I am really happy about.  I can now get on with enjoying my pregnancy which is going really well at the moment and the epilepsy midwife I have been in contact with is making me feel really positive about the whole thing.

I have also been convulsive seizure free for 16 months and completely seizure free for 6 months – this is something I really didn’t think possible and while I am very aware that my epilepsy is a type which is difficult to fully control and so may rear its ugly head any minute I just want to enjoy it while it lasts.

But unfortunately we are really struggling to keep my pregnancy non-medicalised and I’m finding it very frustrating.  We had a hospital appointment a couple of weeks ago with the consultant team at the hospital I am giving birth at.  I was meant to see the consultant but because they were running so late I ended up seeing a registrar who knew absolutely nothing about epilepsy.

We clashed over a number of issues... 

Firstly – scans – they wanted to do an extra scan at 34weeks, the epilepsy midwife has told me a detailed scan at 20 weeks by a consultant is enough and I want to stick with that.  They weren’t happy and told me I wasn’t thinking about the baby and then brought up the fact I had refused the Downs Syndrome Test and told me the babies neck was normal thickness which was a good sign –but we didn’t want to know and now you have told us – what if it hadn’t have been normal would they have told us then???

Secondly – an IV – they want me to have an IV in and I don’t want one, their answer to that was – keep seeing the councillor – like she’ll be able to convince me to do what they want!  I don’t want to have it put in so they can put lots of other things through it to cover every possible eventuality.  If there is a medical need during labour then they can put one in then.

Thirdly – discharge – so apparently I’m not going to meet their early discharge criteria even if I have a normal pregnancy and straight forward labour so they will want me to stay in – when I asked why they replied because you are at a high risk of having a seizure after – my argument was that I don’t need to be in hospital if I have a seizure as they have always self-resolved and I will have much more support at home from Rich, family and friends and will be much less stressed at home.  I can self-discharge so although I don’t want to do that I guess it may be the only way to ensure I am in the best place for me and baby.

Fourthly – seeing the consultant team again – I didn’t want to see them again unless anything changes, they want to see me regularly, in the end we decided I would go back at 34 weeks after I had seen my specialist in London.  They told me 4 times ‘you MUST tell us if anything changes with your epilepsy’ making me feel like I was being irresponsible but all I am doing is following the advice from the only epilepsy midwife in the country and I am planning to travel down to Winchester to see her again before this appointment as well just so I feel confident in my decisions. 

But on a positive note I could feel the stress that in the past I know has triggered my focal seizures and I didn't have one - so maybe the Keppra really is helping.

To be honest if I do have a seizure they won’t be the first people I call because they won’t be much help, apparently they can’t even take my Keppra levels so I’ll have to go to London for them anyway, I’ll be calling my team in London first and the epilepsy midwife second then I’ll let the obstetric consultants know.

 

I hate that they are making me feel like I am being irresponsible by not wanting intervention, especially when I am doing what my epilepsy midwife and specialist have suggested.  I am happy to be monitored like any other woman and if they have any concerns at any point I am happy to increase the amount of monitoring and intervention.  But at the moment my epilepsy is the best controlled it has ever been and my pregnancy is going well – why can’t I just enjoy that and feel blessed to be in this position rather than thinking about all the horrible things that could go wrong?